I'm done wasting my life. No, seriously. This is the fucking turning point.

I have dreams and lately I haven't done much to make them come true, so from now on, no more bullshit. I'll prepare those 4 exams like they're the last thing I've got left to do in this world, I'm gonna learn how to play guitar, I'm gonna write the Vampire Hunting sequel, I'm gonna finish all those work in progress things I've left there waiting for too long. 
I'm also gonna find a job, and maybe even consider the idea of dating someone (maybe that blond guy at the skate park LOL), when I get a chance to. I'm gonna write more original stuff to send to national contests and I'm gonna explore my new passion for photography (and I'm lucky, 'cause I have a good friend who's a photography student in college and she's a freaking genius at it. *loves Alice*).
I'm gonna find the damn job, and I'm gonna save money so I can finally take that trip to the US when I turn 21. And meet the man of my dreams.

I know it's late for new year's resolution, but I don't give a freaking shit. *shrugs*
I'm full of repressed anger, I thought it was gone, but it's still here, somewhere. I don't know why, I don't fucking care. I just know that this time I won't let it eat me from inside, I'll just use it. And when I said that I don't know where it comes from, I mean it, so I really think that talking about this topic would get me really pissed, so just leave it aone. For your sake, and for mine, 'cause I really don't wanna treat anyone badly. 
And I'm actually peaceful and happy right now, except for the lack of caffeine in my system, but that's all my fault. LOL So yeah, I'm just writing this down because that's my way to elaborate it, so don't worry, I'm not bipolar or something. LOL

Also, tonight I slept with my fave stuffed animal, the one I love since I was a child, Fufy (read: foofee). It's always next to my head when I sleep, but tonight I held it all night, I dunno why. For the first time in a week, I slept peacefully without dreams of any kind. I'm not having nightmares, luckily, but sometimes I enjoy some peace in my head, at least when I'm sleeping. LOL 
I think I'll keep it with me tonight as well, which makes me a big girl with a stuffed dog with violet ears. Well, I don't give a shit. *shrugs* Oh, and his second name, from now own, is Bilvy.

I also tried to lay off the caffeine, but it all resulted in me being nervous and cranky and eating loads of those shitty mint Brooklyn chewing-gums. So no, that's one thing I'm gonna keep in my life. *nods* 
So now I'm totally off to get more coffee, and since today it was a day of big changes and I spent all the morning studying like crazy, I'm gonna go celebrate with some quality time with my guitar. 

About the guitar, I forgot to tell you. I followed lovebatdiamond 's advice to get the right name, so yeah, my little baby finally has a name. Santi Black Folkin' 16, but you know, Santi for short.  (Santi for one of my favorite records ever, Black because she's black and white, Folkin' because Folkin' Around is one of the songs I really really want to learn to play with it, and 16 because it's my lucky number.)

Okay, now I'm really off. I feel really good for putting all this down on the journal. 
Have a great day, people. ;)
JM <3